Timing

Recently read a blog post about the need of timing; to find the perfect time to walk away and the time to turn back and mend your bridges.

Seems to be the case now; nadir seems not enough, yet bliss like never before. Confusion of another sort?

Time to change?

Some lines trying to portray the journey of an insurgent

To the self
Split up and confused
Dismembered beyond recognition
Change Perhaps
For a new vision.

Imagination astride
A new wave of motion
Far up, high in the skies
Stars; As if
Rational choices put up
Like points on a dart board.
Inviting; Seemingly close

Eyes closed; options anew
The stars are gone; darkness renews
Spoilt for choices once & now?
Not a fatherly voice to follow
Bearings lost; confusion rising
Books I held once
Bullets lay there now
Paths once dreaded
Now I tread

The stars have returned
not on the skies; But
On the bandana of my forehead
On the barrel of my gun
Dismembered beyond recognition
from the child I was
time ripe
For another change, A new vision

For this?

Some general lines on the political situation of my country.

Why? How? All of this??
Justify

The cacophony rises
Increasing
As if in tempo
The crescendo;
Not of music
But voices

Questioning
The leader in red
The general in green
The minister, with his
daura suruwal and cap on

The price of lives?
Thousands
Thrown into the pyre
Of dreams and change
Revolution
Some agreed, fully joyous
For others
Thrust upon

Either way,
Voices lots
and
Voices lost

A safe landing, agreed upon
The ones with the cap huddle down
Faces change, seems to be the same devils around
Demands change, people hit the crowds
Differing dreams, shattering lives
What has it come to?

All of this,
Has not come to naught
But
The pie has yet to come
Legitimate shares and years of toil
Oppression and change
Justice and Freedom
heavy words

live and let live, say some
but on what to live?
Two square meals hard to come by
For us to live, you have to let live
Confusion, Obligations and personal choices
Differing people, differing voices

What next? Nobody knows
Status quo?? Why the lives?
Justify
Questions start
The men huddle together
Red becomes green with the cap on
Merged into one, they carry on

Questions left
No one left to answer though
the ones at the helm
have had the change
No need now, for them to push on
Except for their own needs

Thousands, blood spilt
All over our hills
For what?? For this?
Words are less to express
The anguish
Of a future
where more lives seem to be going
to the pyre
For what?
For this???

Spurred by the rain?

An attempt, still incomplete. I dont know what exactly I was thinking about when I wrote this, so perhaps its best left uncompleted, as of now.

Falling rains on my window sill
Its cold; but not yet a chill
And there I am
Waiting for it to happen
Cause, I can hear lightning strike
Somewhere far away
Where the chill has set
So baby, baby lets get wet

Perhaps its time
To open the gates
And let in,
squeeze in,
flood in
All those feelings pent up
Stored, thrown away

[Falling rains..not yet a chill.] x 2

Confusion

My idea of trying to move away from the subject of love, parting and other similar fleeting emotions to writing something dark. Although, as the title suggests (both of the blog and the post, the emotions are confused but hopefully, it is dark enough to screaaaaaam along.


Confusion, Confusion
Up in Smoke, The whole Road
Complete Stretch
Burning...Burning

Blackened soot, Burning souls
Bleating voices, All around
Nothing but
Confusionnnnnnnn

Dark Clouds, Raining fire
Dying souls, Pleading
Pleaaading..
For their lives
Its the end, Plenty Change
Pleaaading...Pleeading

Confusion...
Darkness reigns, Lord’s prayer change
Oblation, Deep Dark red
Everywhere, Symbols new
Our Lord is, known to us few
Darkness..Darkness
Voices scream, Chaos
Confusion...Darkness

A Fool's Love

Another of the class posts, this time a take on this elusive emotion called love. Omnipresent yet surprisingly absent, the lines below reflect a melancholy past of me, hopefully more joyous in the future.

Its all in there
The story says it all
The start and the end
Everything, said and done
Every word
Every step
Every mark
That you made
Its all in there
Its just a fool’s heart
A fool’s world
A fool’s mind
Its only
A fool’s love

Classroom Musings/ Incomplete Lines

Some random lines penned in class and being posted during class.

____________________________________________________________
We were on a run
through the bush fire burn
Black clouds in the sky
There was a fire raging on.

Thumping heartbeats,heard so loud
Audible through the crowd
Of lions, tigers, blood eyed hounds

Razing through the jungle
Razing through our hearts.

_____________________________________________________________
The sweet drama of youth
Innocence not yet lost
Such sweet dreams
Of places to visit
And lives yet to live
_____________________________________________________________

When Things were not so bad
And hopes were high
Prudence
You called out
______________________________________________________________

Online Rumblings of the Nepali psyche

The past week has been frantic in the Nepali cyberspace, with youths voicing their opinions in their own ways. Everyone is talking politics. Siddharth Bhai writes about why he opposed the Maoist strike and joined the peace rally, whereas Darshan di talks about the inherent hypocrisy of the peace rally. Then, Sailesh Dai with his new Bikalpa movement brings much needed thought clarity with his neutrality towards the Maoists and his open letter to Prachanda, the chairman of the Unified Communist Party of Nepal(the official name of the Maoist party.)

I am sure, there are a lot more of these discussions going on. Hoping for a positive outcome from all of this.

A lot to think, reflect and retrospect. Should get down to it, once the exams get over.

DRAFTING OF THE NEW CONSTITUTION: WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?

This article aims to look at how the process of drafting the new constitution for Nepal has been derailed which is proved by the public acknowledgements of the leaders expressing their inability to write the constitution by the proposed deadline of May 28, 2010. This article does not look at other socio- political considerations regarding the empty promise of making a ‘New Nepal.’
The idea of writing a constitution through constituent assemblies represents a truly democratic way of fulfilling the aspirations of the citizens. As the elections to the Constituent Assembly also had provisions for a proportional representation, it was the most representative elected lot in Nepal’s history. It was also charged with a historic duty; to right centuries of wrong, to bring peace and usher in an era of equality, not only in token service but in true spirit. It was a historic occasion and truly the expectations were high in the immediate aftermath of the elections.
The initial hiccups of government formation perhaps showed the way and it has been mostly downhill since then for the 601 member Constituent Assembly of Nepal. A draft has been prepared minus several important aspects and critical issues are still unresolved. Even now, the focus is on a government change, with the drafting seemingly a secondary task. Where then, did we go wrong?
The first and perhaps the main problem that arose was the dual function of the Constituent Assembly as a legislature and a body for drafting the constitution. This should have been addressed right at the beginning itself. However, as a result of this, we have the Constituent Assembly working more as a normal legislative body. What has not been recognised is the unique position and privilege that has been afforded to the politicians to shape the lives of generations to come with a better constitution. Governments have been formed and changed, alliances broken and merged again without any respect to this crucial function of actually getting down to writing the constitution. What could have been, and in all honesty, should have been done was to have different people elected to the two bodies in the initial elections so that the Constituent Assembly could focus solely on the work of writing the constitution. The dual role of the Constituent Assembly to govern as well as write the constitution has been a major stumbling block.
Next, we come to the issue of independence. The Constituent Assembly seems to have no independence at all, especially when it comes to dealing with sensitive issues like federalism and issues of identity markers like language and reservation. All the decisions are made by a group of leaders from the different political parties. As such, this results in a complete disrespect for the will of the people and an imposition of a compromise view of a few political leaders. “Why need the Constituent Assembly when all the decisions will be made by a coterie of leaders as a last minute compromise “This situation is especially worsened when there are no clear policy lines of the different parties with regards to such sensitive issues. Thus, lack of a clear guiding policy with no independence has hampered the work of the Constituent Assembly.
The jumbo size of the Constituent Assembly has come in for much criticism. However, considering the scale of the task, the number is not too large. The problem however has been the mismanagement of these numbers. When issues regarding the new divisions of the country have been aprt of active discussions, there hardly seems to be enough willingness on the part of the Constituent Assembly members to explore newer options or go for a larger public interaction and collection of opinions. Newer ideas have not been encouraged and neither have Constituent Assembly members thought outside the party lines. Besides, many of the members do not attend the Constituent Assembly regularly with the list being headed by the top leaders of the different political leaders. There seems to be a serious lack of intent. This lack of intent is seen in the critical issues like language, federalism, distribution of resources where there is lack of a proper background check as well as a lack of alternatives. Thus, issues which need clarification have ended in a stalemate with no clear solution in sight.
In Nepal, there has always been a habit of getting things done at the last moment. Although, the job gets done, it results in a less than average end product. An example could be the Interim Constitution, which is supposed to have been drafted in less than 15 days and as such is a fractured mosaic of different constitutions around the world. However, it is not specific to Nepal and as such; there has been a need to have a better constitution which tracks the aspirations of the Nepali people.
The Constituent Assembly has representation from all the different walks of society along with experts on law, gender and other specific areas. It has the requisite number and required expertise and experience. What it needs however is complete independence and a clear focus and the support of the different political parties. Solutions should be found out on critical issues, without wasting time. Attempts to unravel controversial issues through different perspectives should be made. The goal is the drafting of a new era constitution, one that will set the country on to a better path; one that is populist as well as practical, and one that is able to lay the foundations of a better Nepal. If this does not happen then the next six months will still not be enough for a new constitution and the division in Nepali society might just become irreparable. The need for consensus, political will and clarity leading to action in a positive direction has never been more. Hopefully Nepali people's resilience and the wish for peace along with increasing political realisation and awareness will spur the political establishment and the Constituent Assembly to action.

Foreign Nationals: Milking Cows??

Prologue: The fee structure at NLSIU for foreign nationals being on the higher range, I ask for and receive permission to pay my fees in three instalments. Some days before the exam in the third trimester, a notice calls out some numbers in class of which, yours truly, the author is one.
___________________________________________________________________________
Scene: Registrar’s Office, NLSIU.
In a spacious room sits the Registrar, looking over the list. “ID” he asks gruffly. I see Padma maam smiling in the background.
“1656, Sir.”
“528 Rupees”
By then , I had realised that this notice was due to remaining dues owed to the college.
“But Sir, I have paid all of my dues. In fact the problem is that the administration has suddenly changed the rules regarding the rate of exchange.” I strive further to explain my situation. “ Sir, I had paid my fees in 3 instalments and it was agreed that the rate of exchange would be as according to July 1, 2009 for the academic year July, 09- June, 10. Hence, tweaking with the rates in between the academic year would be a retrospective application. Hence sir, I think this is wrong Sir.”
“What, how is this wrong? We are giving you the facility to pay in instalments. In fact we should be allowed to take interest from you. Who are you to use legal arguments?” The registrar started fuming with rage.

“If I may, Sir, please”, I tried to cut in with whatever little knowledge I had learnt from the university selection of the negotiation rounds, but he was hell bent on continuing. I still managed to talk about how the Finance Officer had agreed to my arguments, but I don’t think I got through to him.
“We will not allow you such instalment facilities from next year. Then we shall see.”
“Ah, yes,” I thought. “Paying twice the amount of Indian students was already a burden coupled with its exchange into Nepali currency and that too all of it to be paid at once. I knew my parents could not pay all of it at once. So I had no option but to keep quiet and listen to his rampage.
Suddenly, his eyes went to my shorts. It’s rare that i wear shorts to class but the increasing heat coupled with my increasing mass makes it all the more necessary to wear them.
“What are these? And what is with this getup? From now on, i do not want to see you in the academic block with shorts on.” I kept on listening to him going on about shorts and decency for a while.
Then, he looked at me and asked, “So?”
“So, what?” I wanted to say but decided the better option would be to keep quiet.
He asked again, “Are you going to pay or not?”
As if I had an option. Of course I was going to pay, especially with the threat of not allowing me any concessions the next year and the psychosis of not alienating this powerful God of law school.
“Yes, I will pay, SIR”
I still see Padma Maam smiling in the background.
___________________________________________________________________________
Epilogue:
I go around the academic block and meet some other foreign national students who have been asked to pay an extra amount to have their dues cleared, despite paying the entire amount at the starting of the year. I do not understand how this is possible, how you can change your policy in the middle of the academic year to affect something that has already been done. And to talk of policy, there is no policy, there is nothing written down, ther are no rules. It all depends upon the whims and fancies of the people in authority who somehow cannot stand a student replying back to them, no matter how correct the other person might be.
It seems correct now why people say that in law school, you need to start kissing asses. If this is supposed to be where we learn what the law is, what justice is, do we not deserve to see it in application? It is funny how we strive for democracy in the State and end up kowtowing to a hierarchical whimsical system in our daily lives.